The Big Cash is comforting, coffee-break size,
And its nice big layout’s a relief to the eyes.
The Starhunt’s a teaser to test out our skill
In word-building and spelling (could that be whippoorwill?).
Is it good? Is it feed? But the down clue won’t fit,
And if i is nineteen, that one has to be grit….
But for sheer fascination, a search to enthral,
We still think the Stinker’s the pride of them all.
The Knowledge means racking our memory hard
For the name of the poet the Welsh call The Bard.
Though our history’s good, our geography’s poorer,
And we still have to check how to spell Isadora!
The Pop Words just lose us – we are so out-of-date
That we can’t even say who was Donovan’s mate,
Though we do know an actress called Lauren Bacall.
But we still think the Stinker’s the pride of them all.
Now, we like the Goliathon, though not arcane,
Because it still tests the intelligent brain.
Though the clues are not specialised, learned or rare,
Their skilled ambiguity can still bring despair.
But we manage this well with a trusty thesaurus,
Because we’re unlikely to meet Tyrannosaurus.
Though we do need to know that a Centre’s a Mall.
But we still think the Stinker’s the pride of them all.
And the Cryptics are beautiful; crafted and fun.
They need lateral thinking, like two can mean one.
Don’t know the answer? Look up fruit-eating bird.
And remember that old Saxon soldiers are Fyrd.
Initials or anagrams? Inclusive parts?
Or simply the knowledge that some deer are harts?
Are Poppies the answer to cutting too tall?
But we still say the Stinker’ the pride of them all.
And the Demon is daunting, no doubt about that;
What with bee’s leg hair tufts and a French Corporal’s hat.
Much classical knowledge we dig from our past,
And the subtle distinctions of Indian caste.
Now we know about aglets (shoelace tips) and ogive
(A conical rocket-head, would you believe?)
And we even tracked down the Poi (Maori dance ball).
But we still think the Stinker’s the pride of them all!
So here’s to The Stinker! It oils our brain,
As our memories wax and our memories wane.
A Desert in Asia turned out to be Thar,
But it took us much longer to track down the Haar
(A mist in the North Sea, you gotta believe);
But our Saxon is better; we did know the Reeve.
And a ratchet wheel lever (guess what?) is a pawl.
Oh, we do think the Stinker’s the pride of them all!
We know sumi from sushi, a linguistic feat;
The first is an ink stick, the second we eat.
When our books gave no answer, an Internet struggle
Revealed that the platypus young is a puggle!
Did you know that piked-broadswords were once called a glair?
But not photos for Kodiak (Alaskan bear).
Limestone (crumbly) is malm; a rock splinter, a spall.
Oh, we do think the Stinker’s the pride of them all!
Eileen M Byrne